Black Friday.. wy do we call it that anyways?

So Christmas is approaching and there is nothing I can do to stop it ack.. My mother turns from normal calm  lady to SATAN  with a shopping addiction. I am seriously not kidding this time.  Some times I may cry wolf like when I say that "J's farts kill dead people" really I mean his farts just stink and the dead people were most likely already dead so it prob had nothing to do with his farts.

 Seriously though I am being kidnapped by a lady I shall call "mom" and she likes to guilt me into going shopping with her. For example my stepfather has bribed me with 200$ towards Christmas shopping if I go with my mom on "black Friday"!

  This is his way of saying" please don't make me go with her" its your job as a daughter.

    My mom has the tendency of acting like a crazy lady over the holidays and I am going in on Tuesday to get my ovary check and than if all goes well hopefully another trigger shot. So I guess I am actually crossing my fingers that this year I am crazy and hormonal when I am forced to go out shopping with my lovely crazy mother and lets just all pray she lives. =)

AF IS A BEATCH

I worked my 30 hour shift this weekend and woke up to find AF upon me with vengeance! Hurts like hell and kinda the part were I finally have to admit 100 percent that this cycle failed. To be honest I was hoping for it. yet at the same time I felt like I did not deserve it. I have met so many people on here who have suffered so many losses and even though we have been TTC for quite some time..One cycle on clomid just did not seem fair to me. Fair as in I see the hurt some of you are going through with all your miscarriages and I feel almost as if it is your turn first.  I know that sounds odd but that is my honest feelings at the moment.
  Not to say I am not still hoping for my turn, because I am so hoping and praying for that day. I am also not looking forward to the hormones to start again. ugh I become so crazy that I even hate myself.  This week I plan to hang out with  J and try and relax in between working. Hopefully soon I hear back from the Dr as to what meds and dosage they want me to start on.

  I am lucky to have such a wonderful man and the unconditional love of my Lola dog and cranky old cat. I swear they can get me through anything and I hope the rest of you are as lucky to have the same in your life.  Time to go relax with my Advil and heating pad as well.   One of these days I will post something other than my TTC life. heh till than nighty night.

quickie

I figured I better do something to take my mind off of the election status since I am about ready to cry already. bu bye health care.  I am starting to get antsy and just want the days to hurry up so I can get to my next cycle and see if this time I can actually get a good strong ovulation. Come on eggies get to work!!  I am not even sure if I will get a natural period or not so I have to wait till mid November to see and if not than I get to take prevera again and force one.  All the meds make me beyond hormonal and crazy as hell! Soooo advance notice in case I randomly start throwing things.

  I am not sure what it is about blogging haha but it puts me to sleep so I guess this will just be a quickie update. I will prob write a book of a blog on Thursday when I am free from work. Till than stay safe everyone and baby dust to all needing it.